McChallenged
The drive from our house in Massachusetts to our cottage in Maine is 127 miles, about 2 1/2 hours ‘by automobile’…. which can get tedious. Especially on a cold winter night.
Not long ago, I was driving through West Ossipee, NH on my way northward late one evening and did something I haven’t done in years. I drove through McDonald’s. Partly because I could barely stay awake and partly because I was starving.
So I pulled up to the billboard menu on this particularly frigid evening and stared at all the options, bewildered by the groupings and rearrangements of basically the same five quasi food items.
Eventually, I told the voice on the intercom thingy that I just wanted chicken nuggets, except I said:
“Small order of Chicken McNuggets – wait, McChicken Nuggets? Or are they McChicken McNuggets??”
I actually panicked a little as there was silence on the other end, which I was certain meant I was officially the lamest American in the country and thus my citizenship would be instantly revoked.
Here’s the real problem: I can do about three things on my computer; I rarely reach the person I want on my smart phone; I can’t access my doctor’s portal e-messages; both my kindle and Ipod froze over a year ago; I need reading glasses to operate my treadmill; I often stare bewilderingly at copying machines; I cannot find plain old ‘fresh air’ on my car’s dashboard; I don’t speak “text’;” I need someone under 30 to operate the DVD; I hyper-ventilate when family members fade away on Skype; I can’t follow commercials; and I get easily confused at airports.
“Would you like McSauce with that?” a giggling voice finally replied.
Yet another allegorical pit stop in the slow lane…. However, I’m determined not to be left behind. Besides, those may have been the best four McPoultry McParts I’ve ever McEaten.
Tags: allergory, america, American, Big Mac, cheeseburger, chicken, cold, french fries, hamburger, McChicken, McDonald's. fast food, McNuggets, New Hampshire, night, nuggets, Ossipee, Route 16, Spaulding Turnpike, USA, West Ossipee, White Mountains, winter
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We love the spring flower design! It’s hard to imagine you eating anything from a Mcdonalds. You must have been very hungry!!
Are there chicken nuggets gluten free now?
Nope, nope – check Micky D’s website for updated allergen/intolerance info…. I don’t need to eat GFree although I’ve cut way back on gluten intake. It’s my daughter who must eat GFree – my inspiration for my GFree survival guides! Hopefully my new gf book will be released by the end of this year and, at that point, I’ll launch a separate gf website/blog with the book.
Thanks, I too love the little fresh flower-power design!! My web-guy, Alex, recently spruced up my website… making room for a new novel.
I can vouch for all of your technical inadequacies.
Also, McDonald’s is gross.
I was forced to take my grandson for McNuggets over Christmas while they were visiting. McNuggets didn’t look to bad until I saw them “cold” the next morning. Yikes. OK, a spurge on a french fry can’t be all bad (I hope).
That was hilarious!
Haha. The technology-challenged can relate to you here. unfortunately, your kids (and most of your tween readers) probably think people like us are pathetic! On a separate note, I wonder if McNuggets are really McHorse? Gross!
Completely sympathize! Survival requirements today are totally baffling.
I recall when McDonald’s was a BIG treat…I was a kid. Occasionally, I will stop for a burger and fries and it takes me right back to being a 10 year old! I have never had McNuggets and probably never will. I am a creature of habit!
I remember that too, JT. We only stopped during long road trips. I also remember when I saw the first McD’s in our urban neighborhood in Durham, NC, around 1967, and that the sign said over “10 Million Served” (or some million) and how that number floored me! Soon after, my kindergarten, which was located in Miss Chapman’s house (a sweet little old lady), was lifted off its foundation and moved down the road to make room for another new chain (new to us), Dunkin Donuts. Of course I had no idea you could lift and move a home – the very thought terrified me for years….
I had this weird fever for a week this winter and didn’t eat a thing. First thing I went for was McDonald’s. It was oddly delicious for this organic produce/meat buyer. You just never know what’s going to hit the McSpot!
Did you get the McUps? At least the intercom sculpture didn’t laugh at you — that would have been frightening. Although not a bad idea – I think I feel an app coming on…
I hope you enjoyed the McSauce Ms McBeth!
McYukk!! You will love the restaurants in Tucson! Bring back a jar of sun shine
Luvving all the McComments!
Thanks for the lovely blog support during this rocky year.
It’s rare to find truly honest, compassionate friends who stick with you.
Looking forward to a week of warm sunshine after a very gray winter!
Safe trip girls! Post pics!!!