The drive from our house in Massachusetts to our cottage in Maine is 127 miles, about 2 1/2 hours ‘by automobile’…. which can get tedious. Especially on a cold winter night.
Not long ago, I was driving through West Ossipee, NH on my way northward late one evening and did something I haven’t done in years. I drove through McDonald’s. Partly because I could barely stay awake and partly because I was starving.
So I pulled up to the billboard menu on this particularly frigid evening and stared at all the options, bewildered by the groupings and rearrangements of basically the same five quasi food items.
Eventually, I told the voice on the intercom thingy that I just wanted chicken nuggets, except I said:
“Small order of Chicken McNuggets – wait, McChicken Nuggets? Or are they McChicken McNuggets??”
I actually panicked a little as there was silence on the other end, which I was certain meant I was officially the lamest American in the country and thus my citizenship would be instantly revoked.
Here’s the real problem: I can do about three things on my computer; I rarely reach the person I want on my smart phone; I can’t access my doctor’s portal e-messages; both my kindle and Ipod froze over a year ago; I need reading glasses to operate my treadmill; I often stare bewilderingly at copying machines; I cannot find plain old ‘fresh air’ on my car’s dashboard; I don’t speak “text’;” I need someone under 30 to operate the DVD; I hyper-ventilate when family members fade away on Skype; I can’t follow commercials; and I get easily confused at airports.
“Would you like McSauce with that?” a giggling voice finally replied.
Yet another allegorical pit stop in the slow lane…. However, I’m determined not to be left behind. Besides, those may have been the best four McPoultry McParts I’ve ever McEaten.
Tags: allergory, america, American, Big Mac, cheeseburger, chicken, cold, french fries, hamburger, McChicken, McDonald's. fast food, McNuggets, New Hampshire, night, nuggets, Ossipee, Route 16, Spaulding Turnpike, USA, West Ossipee, White Mountains, winter
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